In the last decade, we have seen terrible remakes like The Grinch That Stole Christmas, Starsky & Hutch, Miami Vice, and the ridiculously awful Bewitched.
The news came out recently that there will be a Three Stooges movie written and directed by the Farrelly brothers that will begin production in March of 2011. Peter Farrelly was quoted as saying:
The script is ready to go, and we are opening up these roles to the world right now. We’ll make it with the best possible people. Our feeling is that no star is too big to audition and no matter who it is, we’re going to have to see him in the role. This is not The Flinstones. You’ve got to be Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard, and that could be a major movie star or an unknown. Our goal is 85 minutes of laughs in a film that will be very respectful of who the Stooges were. It’s by far the riskiest project we’ve ever done, without question, but it is also the one closest to our hearts.
This can’t be good.
Let’s take a look at some of the best and worst movie remakes of all time.
Unfortunately for us, the trend of producing horrible movie remakes has pushed forward despite numerous flops because of the select few that have actually made respectable numbers at the box office.
Transformers – 2007
Budget: 150 million
US Box Office: 319 million
Worldwide Gross: 709 million
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen – 2009
Budget: 200 million
US Box Office: 402 million
Worldwide Gross: 836 million
Alice in Wonderland – 2010
Budget: 200 million
US Box Office: 334 million
Worldwide Gross: 1.024 billion
These are the only 3 remakes in the 50 top grossing movies in the US, according the BoxOfficeMojo.
So why are these production companies continually regurgitating old ideas and force-feeding us our history? That’s a tough question, especially when you look at the opposite side of the spectrum; The remake box office bombs.
Bad News Bears – 2005
Budget: 35 million
US Box Office: 33 million
Worldwide Gross: 34 million
This awful remake couldn’t quite break even. A rather uninspired performance by Billy Bob Thornton is totally to blame, as it seemed audiences outside of the US could care less about a crappy movie about a crappy team of baseball players.
The Cat in the Hat – 2003
Budget: 109 million
US Box Office: 101 million
Worldwide Gross: 133 million
I though that the Grinch was a terrible Dr. Seuss remake — that was, until I experienced the Cat in the Hat. The usually likeable Mike Myers is atrocious in this snorefest. It’s almost as if someone tried real hard to be like Tim Burton but failed worse than Chris Klein taking a sobriety test.
PSYCHO – 1998
Budget: 60 million
US Box Office: 21 million
Worldwide Gross: 37 million
Why, why, why do you remake this when the original was perfectly fine? The money? Well how’d that work out for ya?
As you can see remakes aren’t always what they seem to be when they are just a script with a greenlight. Sometimes they really, really stink. Sometimes they’re okay. Rarely are they better than that and I can’t think of a single instance where they are spectacular.
So if you’re one of the lucky ones heading out to theatres this weekend to see Yogi Bear, then good luck. You may need to ask for your refund while you’re still in line.
What are some Hollywood remakes you love or hate?
Jon
December 16, 2010
really why do they remakes ?
Old is gold.
Jackson Chung
December 17, 2010
You know… Corporations. They’re only out to make money.